How do you feel about holidays spent with family and friends?
For many, the holiday season is a time for connection, celebration, and reflection. Despite the pressures – and holiday stresses like last-minute gifting and budgeting for those special dinners – it offers a great opportunity for you to bond more closely with your children or teens. Simply being in a more relaxed environment, listening and spending quality time together is easier can have a profoundly positive effect on mental health.
Holidays as an Opportunity for Emotional Support
The holidays are often hallmarked by busy schedules, gift shopping, and endless to-do lists. But they also bring moments that are rich in emotional connection. For children and teens especially, those moments can be a source of comfort and security.
If you’re a parent, here are some ways you can make holiday time together all that more special:
- Simply be present. Do your best not to be too distracted by work or busyness. The fact that you’re there, giving of your time and attention, reassures your children that they’re valued and loved.
- Celebrate and co-create together. Sharing in holiday rituals like decorating, baking, or gift-giving creates opportunities for you to share stories, laugh, and bond with your children in the best possible ways.
- Embrace familiar traditions (or create new ones!). The familiarity of shared routines or family traditions provide your children with a sense of stability during what is often an otherwise hectic season.
Family Time: A Buffer Against Stress
Children face so many daily challenges – school pressure, social dynamics, and the constant pull of addictive technology. Making time for family during the holidays is a great way to decompress and gives your children a safe space where they can simply be themselves and feel accepted for who they are.
When you make time to sit together, whether it’s around the dinner table or during holiday activities, kids feel more comfortable about opening up and sharing their thoughts or telling you about their worries. There are no school or social demands to be met, and simply relaxing in the safety of a loving family unit can bring immense joy and comfort to your children.
As a parent, maybe also try not to be too stressed out by holiday expectations – and even if you feel under pressure, do your best to model calmness and healthy coping mechanisms to your children.
Remember, they don’t do what you say. They do what they see you do.
The Power of Listening: Building Trust and Emotional Safety
What’s the greatest gift you can offer your children? We’d argue that attentive listening is right up there near the top of the list. It builds trust, validation, and deepens the love and respect they have for you. Two important points to remember here:
- When you actively listen without judgment, your children feel far safer expressing themselves openly.
- Being heard matters – for everyone. When your child or teen knows you trust her enough to really listen, with empathy, she’ll trust you too. Trust is the cornerstone for lifelong relationships built with love and care. And that means far greater emotional resilience for your children, too.
So, how do we practice genuinely active listening?
Number one, put away distractions like phones or screens. Give your whole attention to your child. Show that you’re invested in listening to them and that nothing else matters right now. Acknowledge their feelings and encourage them to share those feelings with you. Express gratitude, and of course, don’t forget to repeat back what you’re hearing to make sure you really understand what’s being said.
In all the appropriate ways, you need to be a trusted friend as well as a smart parent.
Holiday Traditions Create a Sense of Stability and Belonging
For children and teens, holiday traditions are more than just fun. They’re anchors of stability and belonging. And in a fast-changing world, family rituals provide a reassuring sense of continuity.
Here are just some of the reasons why that’s important:
- Traditions give your children a sense of identity, where they come from, and what their shared family values are.
- Bonding around activities like tree trimming or family dinners can create treasured memories and deepen connections between you and your children.
- Traditions also create a safe haven of familiarity. Even teens who seem distant often find comfort and happiness in the predictability of holiday rituals. This is even more important if you have a child or teen who is neurodivergent or who struggles in social settings.
Extended Family? Invite Them Over.
Extended family members play a unique role in your child’s emotional health. The holidays offer a perfect opportunity to surround your children with an expanded network of love, companionship, and support.
Most obviously, having grandparents around – or other adults like uncles and aunts – can enhance the feelings of guidance and support your children enjoy. (Plus, those folks can pitch in on the tasks and give you some support, too.) Seriously though, it’s important to cherish those family connections. In fact, according to a 2019 study published in Family Relations, teens with strong family connections are 20% more likely to report higher levels of mental well-being. Data from the CDC highlights that family support also significantly reduces the risk of anxiety and depression in adolescents.
This is the time to share family history, stories, and life lessons. And the positive lifelong impact of those shared experiences can’t be overstated.
Make Space for Downtime
Remember that your children might feel almost as exhausted as you do at the end of another year! By all means include them, but also allow space for them to exercise independence and enjoy some unstructured downtime. It’s important to strike a balance. After all, you want the season to be joyful rather than overwhelming.
(On that note, it’s a great idea to also include activities that cater to your child’s own unique interests and hobbies.)
The Spirit of Giving
It’s all too easy for the holidays to become a frenzy of materialism.
Perhaps the greatest gift you can give your children or teens is the realization that the things that truly matter can’t be gift-wrapped or purchased in a store. They might not remember exactly what toy or device they received in 2024, but years from now, they’ll remember that you were there when it mattered.
That you were present, willing to listen, willing to encourage, that you shared in their laughter, and that you were joined at the heart during an incredibly special time.
That you were a safe space for them.
And that you always will be.
We’re All About Family
At My Therapy ConnectionTM, we’re dedicated to helping families experience greater happiness, harmony, and growth together.
We also understand that it’s not always simple and that life happens. If you’re experiencing family relationship difficulty, please remember that all you need to do is reach out and book a complimentary 10-minute consultation call with us. We’ll gladly answer any questions and recommend a therapist who can provide the best possible counsel and support for your specific needs.
From all of us, we wish you all the very best for the holidays!
